Fellow blogger, resident of SF, and notorious panty-stealing depraved individual ATBOTH sends an e-mail as follows:
Hey Grant,
A friend is heading back to India for a visit. First Bombay, then Poona. Know anything about either of those places?
I’m guessing you do, seeing as you mentioned Irani Teashops in some previous posts.
Any recommendations? For food, that is – I doubt that she is seriously interested in your thoughts on feminine underwear.
Thanks.
Well, let us see. It is utterly unfortunate that I have no fond memories of feminine underwear in Poona, even though I am convinced that anybody going there would indeed most certainly be entranced and obsessed with the very subject - especially if self wearing. But men also. Why not? It is, second to nuking the bollocky pakistanies, a subject of nearness to the hearts of all sensible persons. Yes.
What to remember?
Statue of Chatrapatty Shivajee? It is boring. Very British in style, my good heavens how heroic looking the old bean. Statue of Ambedkar? Not otherwise much defference. Gardens? Fort? Location?
Oh, the gibbering Dutchman requested food. Well then.
Parsee eats: Marz-O-Rin and Dorabjee's. Also various Irani Bakeries (did someone just say brunmaska chai?). Kayani Bakery. And the dreary vegetarian muck so much prefered by Gujus and Dravidians which is availably inevitable at Udipi joints, the attraction of which I am utterly incomprehending.
I shall post about Marz-O-Rin and Dorabjee's.
Do not expect golden prose, I am not Behramji by any standards except my own.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Evil child, I shalll take your panties on a salver!
It is with considerable dismay and displeasure that I notice and observe that the evil and depraved miss Snooky Wong again lampoosn and snarks me!
In this horrid post:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/parsee-plus-lawyer-and-panties-equals.html
Parsee plus Lawyer and Panties equals chowder head
Have you no decency, petite bitchette, have you at last no decency? I ask with trembling brow.
You are a mincks. Completely.
Do NOT blame the rabbit!
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html
That you got miserable and sick and stomach-churningly awful from eating all the Easter chocolates, well then whose fault is that except your own? Did I force you? Did I offer you a bucket full of dark temptation? Did I hold down your softly writhing form while proffering bonbons to those parted cherry lips? Well?
And you must answer NO. It is yourself at fault alone. Because you dared not give me your contact information, most unrightly fearing that an upstanding fine LAWYER such as myself would risk all by attempting to seduce a delicate teenage miss.
Heavens to betsy! I am offended.
I have already told you a thousand times, a veritable lakh of times indeed, in as many copious details, that I am not interested in you. Far otherwise in the slightest, the only intellectual curiosities I have concerning yourself is for your cotton nether bits. A subject of deep thought. The delightsome girlish rumpous within, although undoubtedly as fine a piece of work as any (and do please describe!), is of utterly no fascination whatsoever. I would not want it. Even if you offered it to me on a silver platter with bells and tassels attached. And I demand that you test that presumption, so that I may prove my innocence by glancing sneeringly thereat, without further ado about it. I shall but glare in its direction!
I have the bells and tassels, little miss, where are you? Pale blue, please, with the merest of lace edgings. It is an intellectual quest, and curiosities must be satisfied.
Bikini briefs, French cut, or sporty type, it is me all good.
Can I offer you some fine imported chocolate? A gift-wrapped three pound box?
In this horrid post:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/parsee-plus-lawyer-and-panties-equals.html
Parsee plus Lawyer and Panties equals chowder head
Have you no decency, petite bitchette, have you at last no decency? I ask with trembling brow.
You are a mincks. Completely.
Do NOT blame the rabbit!
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html
That you got miserable and sick and stomach-churningly awful from eating all the Easter chocolates, well then whose fault is that except your own? Did I force you? Did I offer you a bucket full of dark temptation? Did I hold down your softly writhing form while proffering bonbons to those parted cherry lips? Well?
And you must answer NO. It is yourself at fault alone. Because you dared not give me your contact information, most unrightly fearing that an upstanding fine LAWYER such as myself would risk all by attempting to seduce a delicate teenage miss.
Heavens to betsy! I am offended.
I have already told you a thousand times, a veritable lakh of times indeed, in as many copious details, that I am not interested in you. Far otherwise in the slightest, the only intellectual curiosities I have concerning yourself is for your cotton nether bits. A subject of deep thought. The delightsome girlish rumpous within, although undoubtedly as fine a piece of work as any (and do please describe!), is of utterly no fascination whatsoever. I would not want it. Even if you offered it to me on a silver platter with bells and tassels attached. And I demand that you test that presumption, so that I may prove my innocence by glancing sneeringly thereat, without further ado about it. I shall but glare in its direction!
I have the bells and tassels, little miss, where are you? Pale blue, please, with the merest of lace edgings. It is an intellectual quest, and curiosities must be satisfied.
Bikini briefs, French cut, or sporty type, it is me all good.
Can I offer you some fine imported chocolate? A gift-wrapped three pound box?
Pork pickle - VINDALOO
A simple recipe. I think. It is comfort food.
VINDALOO
Two pounds pork leg or shoulder, large cubbes.
Half a cup of onions chopped.
Quarter cup of cilantro (kotumir).
Teaspoon of oil from a sharp achar less masala.
Marinade:
Half a cup vinegar, two teaspoon sugar, two teaspoon ground pepper, plus one or two green cardamom, cloves, bay leaves, green chilies.
Masala:
Two tablespoons chili paste.
Two teaspoons each: cinnamon powder, ground coriander.
Half teaspoon ground cumin.
Plenty of ginger and garlic.
Quarter cup vinegar.
Quarter cup strong tamarind water.
Whirr all ingredients of masala smooth. Marinate meat for several hours in marinade.
Brown onions, add the masala, cook till the oil separates. Add meat and marinade and cook fiercely briefly. Stir in the achar oil. Add two or three cups water and simmer for an hour or more. Add the cilantro, remove from heat.
Serve with pao and plain white rice.
VINDALOO
Two pounds pork leg or shoulder, large cubbes.
Half a cup of onions chopped.
Quarter cup of cilantro (kotumir).
Teaspoon of oil from a sharp achar less masala.
Marinade:
Half a cup vinegar, two teaspoon sugar, two teaspoon ground pepper, plus one or two green cardamom, cloves, bay leaves, green chilies.
Masala:
Two tablespoons chili paste.
Two teaspoons each: cinnamon powder, ground coriander.
Half teaspoon ground cumin.
Plenty of ginger and garlic.
Quarter cup vinegar.
Quarter cup strong tamarind water.
Whirr all ingredients of masala smooth. Marinate meat for several hours in marinade.
Brown onions, add the masala, cook till the oil separates. Add meat and marinade and cook fiercely briefly. Stir in the achar oil. Add two or three cups water and simmer for an hour or more. Add the cilantro, remove from heat.
Serve with pao and plain white rice.
Monday, April 13, 2009
She ate too much chocolate
Hah! The mincks ate too much chocolate! She should've stuck with nice ghee-drenched sweeties, and avoided the surplussity of evil bribes of the dastardly rabbit!
See here:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/
Specificat:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html
Yes! I say! Too much chocolate!
Bapreebap, little girl, bapreebap!
Far indeed it is from me to suggest what else better she could have done on an Easter day, that being a holiday which as a fine heathen miss she SHOULD've NOT celebrated, but really, in my humble estimation (and let me say I have excellent judgement AND both good taste), the petite miss Wong should've celebrated the fertility holiday by putting on a bunny costume.
Tight and shiny.
What, pray, more salutary, than fine young things with fluffy parts. Indeed.
I shall scream appreciatively now, thank you.
See here:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/
Specificat:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html
Yes! I say! Too much chocolate!
Bapreebap, little girl, bapreebap!
Far indeed it is from me to suggest what else better she could have done on an Easter day, that being a holiday which as a fine heathen miss she SHOULD've NOT celebrated, but really, in my humble estimation (and let me say I have excellent judgement AND both good taste), the petite miss Wong should've celebrated the fertility holiday by putting on a bunny costume.
Tight and shiny.
What, pray, more salutary, than fine young things with fluffy parts. Indeed.
I shall scream appreciatively now, thank you.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Parsee wine and dine
The following text was written for an English audience, as who else would even be curious about the subject, or quite so obsessed with knives and forks and the proper methods of meals.
A great improvement is now observable among the Parsees in their manner of eating. Formerly they sat on the ground at meals like the Hindoos, and took their food out of one brazen dish, on which the viands were spread in confusion. Now the table and chair, with all the accompaniments of a European dinner, are put in requisition. When large parties are given, the table is spread exactly in the English mode, instead of as formerly, when hundreds would be grouped upon the floor, each eating his dinner from a plantain leaf!
The Parsees, properly speaking, eat three times a day. In the morning, soon after their ablutions, they sit down to breakfast, which consists of tea, bread and butter, and eggs. Between twelve and one dinner or tiffin is served, at which rice and curry, with mutton, vegetables, and fish, are the principal dishes. The poorer classes are, however, content with simple rice and curry. Between four and five in the afternoon tea is again prepared, and the time for supper is between eight and ten. This is the most substantial meal of the day, and wines are then consumed in large quantities by those who can afford them; but it is a fact creditable to the sobriety of Parsees generally, that they drink no intoxicating liquors during the day.
---Dosabhoy Framjee
Parsees: Their History, Manners, Customs and Religion. First published in 1858.
That statement about the sobriety of Parsees is most telling. The true Irish inebriation as practised in India is a purview of Muslims only - most phenomenal drunkards under the crown. Close second: anyone from Delhi.
A great improvement is now observable among the Parsees in their manner of eating. Formerly they sat on the ground at meals like the Hindoos, and took their food out of one brazen dish, on which the viands were spread in confusion. Now the table and chair, with all the accompaniments of a European dinner, are put in requisition. When large parties are given, the table is spread exactly in the English mode, instead of as formerly, when hundreds would be grouped upon the floor, each eating his dinner from a plantain leaf!
The Parsees, properly speaking, eat three times a day. In the morning, soon after their ablutions, they sit down to breakfast, which consists of tea, bread and butter, and eggs. Between twelve and one dinner or tiffin is served, at which rice and curry, with mutton, vegetables, and fish, are the principal dishes. The poorer classes are, however, content with simple rice and curry. Between four and five in the afternoon tea is again prepared, and the time for supper is between eight and ten. This is the most substantial meal of the day, and wines are then consumed in large quantities by those who can afford them; but it is a fact creditable to the sobriety of Parsees generally, that they drink no intoxicating liquors during the day.
---Dosabhoy Framjee
Parsees: Their History, Manners, Customs and Religion. First published in 1858.
That statement about the sobriety of Parsees is most telling. The true Irish inebriation as practised in India is a purview of Muslims only - most phenomenal drunkards under the crown. Close second: anyone from Delhi.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Very basic of Parsee cricket
The Parsees were first Indians to play cricket, it being played by parsee gentlemen as early as 1840 despite not having public school education.
First Parsee cricketers in England 1886 - not bally success.
Second visit 1888 considerably better. Of particular note, bowler Mehellasha Pavri, and Nasarbanji Bapasola. Pavri claimed six wickets at Eastbourne. Good show!
Notable Parsee cricket was being played at Bombay Gymkhana, August 26 and 27, in 1892 - Presidency Match.
Drawn.
September 19-21 Parsees versus Bombay Presidency at Pune.
Victory by three wickets.
Must particularly mention Dinshaw Kanga as primus among early cricketers.
In more recent times, there was Farokh Engineer, who played magnificently in sixties and seventies. Hard bat.
Also in those years, Polly Umrigar - probably best Indian batsman of his time
First Parsee cricketers in England 1886 - not bally success.
Second visit 1888 considerably better. Of particular note, bowler Mehellasha Pavri, and Nasarbanji Bapasola. Pavri claimed six wickets at Eastbourne. Good show!
Notable Parsee cricket was being played at Bombay Gymkhana, August 26 and 27, in 1892 - Presidency Match.
Drawn.
September 19-21 Parsees versus Bombay Presidency at Pune.
Victory by three wickets.
Must particularly mention Dinshaw Kanga as primus among early cricketers.
In more recent times, there was Farokh Engineer, who played magnificently in sixties and seventies. Hard bat.
Also in those years, Polly Umrigar - probably best Indian batsman of his time
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Pakistan is centre of terrorism
Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has described Pakistan as the "epicentre of world terrorism".
This per article BBC here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7975986.stm
Well, I am in entirety not surprised that he should say so. It has been a verity for insufferable age that the Pakistani ISI had gone rogue and was geared towards destructive behaviours. One could have even averred that entire society on western side of the border was little more than barbarism.
Prime Minister also said: "The world has a responsibility that Pakistan lives up to the promise that it will not allow its territory to be used to promote acts of terror directed against India"
Hoo hah! He can jollywell forget about world doing bugger all only. Not a thing will they do, kooch bilkul nahi. The world has blinded its eye towards Pakistani depravity for so long that they could not recognize its true depth if it came up and bit them in the posterior portions. Believe you me, it will be up to India to nuke the bastards and be done with it. World will do nothing.
This per article BBC here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7975986.stm
Well, I am in entirety not surprised that he should say so. It has been a verity for insufferable age that the Pakistani ISI had gone rogue and was geared towards destructive behaviours. One could have even averred that entire society on western side of the border was little more than barbarism.
Prime Minister also said: "The world has a responsibility that Pakistan lives up to the promise that it will not allow its territory to be used to promote acts of terror directed against India"
Hoo hah! He can jollywell forget about world doing bugger all only. Not a thing will they do, kooch bilkul nahi. The world has blinded its eye towards Pakistani depravity for so long that they could not recognize its true depth if it came up and bit them in the posterior portions. Believe you me, it will be up to India to nuke the bastards and be done with it. World will do nothing.
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