Monday, April 27, 2009

Woof!

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.

The ground control issues commands:
"Rubi!"
"Woof!"
"Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!"
"Woof!"
"Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!"
"Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ishant Sharma, excellent bowler

In the Perth Test in 2008 Sharma got his wicket.

Has excellent pace and high delivery, on a lively wicket quite the presence. Has proven himself recently in Ceylon. But perhaps most remarkably in Perth Test 2008, which I encourage all reading about.
Still young man. Tall, accurate, fiery, and fit. Brilliant fast bowler.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Miss Wong's delightful panties!

It is with great and humble joy that I acknowledge that miss Snooky Wong has generously made me a fine gift of her panties. That is to say, she has described them in greate detail, in a mannaer that leaves no guessing as to her mentalitites and motives.


It is like reading a charming menu at a fine restaurant, manifestly not the vegetarian section.
Meaty, my heavens. And most utterly delightful indeed.

See this lovely lyrical post:

http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/more-panties.html

Isn't that sweet?


Just too, too.


She defines her panties:

Briefs are panties that come up to the waist and have a plain style of leg opening. They are comfortable, but at worst granny style and baggy. Plenty of cloth from leg to waist.

Bikini briefs have leg openings that are cut above the thigh, fully cover the rear and front, but have a waistband that rides over the hips rather than across the waist. Some are really low, for people who wear lowriders and kidney pops. Narrow band of coth from leg to waist.The long ones are very sweet, if you do not have a long torso and short legs.

French cut briefs have the highest cut of leg opening, wich is canted slightly forward. The waistband is at the natural waist line. Medium amount of cloth between leg and waist, sometimes not. Not suitable for fatty thighs.

High cut briefs are panties with a high-rise leg opening, and ride at or above the natural waistline. Medium or narrow band of cloth.Hipster briefs have low-cut leg openings, almost straight across. They ride significantly below the navel. Some middle-aged women like them, and they also look cute on teenagers. They look boxy. Most Chinese people should not wear them. Well, the women at least.


FOND AFTERTHOUGHTS

All of this what makes the following clear: innocent little teenagers should wear regular briefs, as well as delicate boned blondes. Bikini Briefs can be worn by anyone except large black women, even Tamils or large Punjabi truckdriver type females, French Cut Briefs will look gorgeous on someone without excess curvatures, so no Arabs or Pakistani Matrons but Greeks and Italians okay (absolutely no Jugoslavians!!!), Hipster Briefs shall be ideal on high bottomed Punjabi young ladies and Somali girls, but not Arabs, Chinese girl persons, or Germans, and Thongs look best on athletic but not overly thin white girls. Something rounded.


All of the above except the last mentioned thong will look both dashing and mouthwatering on a petite Cantonese female personage, such as we know that Snooky Wong herself is. Not even five feet, per her own words.


Now we shall patiently expect her deep thoughts about lace edging, embroidery, and panels. Her insights are delicious and poetic. Oh yes. And within her fine pruple prosing will be inevitably a descriptus unmatched from what we can cleverly and perspiricaceously reconstruct her own small curvy graces, imagining only the warm golden skin and gentle fruited swellings. Come now, little mincks, your fevered fans await! Scribble us your tempting sweetness!

Spat between Lester and Windy

John Dyson of West Indies, issued remarks which displeased the arrogant Britishman David Smith, basha of Leicestershire. He refuses to take kindly comments about falling wickets. Perhaps sour grapes, or just not sportsmanlike.

One cannot but unescape the conclusion that British, as so often their side, are not able to graciously host, especially if tourists not quite own type of old chap.

Warmup match with Leicestershire.
Monday, Dyson made comment re Grace Road pitch after Leicestershire dismissed for a small total, own side reduced to 80-4.
But spirited play by West Indies contradicted his assertion, with the visitors ending the 100 overs of their first innings 138 runs ahead.

Benn unchanged today for 24 overs, as Lesterwallahs went from trailing by 87 overnight to finishing 100 runs ahead. Then draw agreed upon. Chanderpaul, Edwards, and Gayle not with squad at this point.

Coming up: Play against Essex should be exciting, as well as against Derby at end of month. Test match at Lords in May.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Marz-O-Rin at Bakhtiar Plaza

Marz-O-Rin Restaurant is ideal for after energetic all day shopping. It is always crowded, and always fast. Thus maximizing on both location and pedal traffics. Tables are small small, do not order a banquet. But come with a friend.

First order and pay, then pick up plate. Staff very personable. Service with a toothy smile. Oh yes.


Marz-O-Rin for delicious Chicken Roll, or Tomatoes and Green Chatni sandwhiches, Cheese Souffle, and Cold Coffee. Also cafeteria food in the generic English fashion (Macaroni? Spaghetti? What are these strange beasts?!?!), plus nowadays also burgers, hence it is a most excellent place for Gora watching - Angrezilog always wanting home food, even if that food in its precise local manifestation purely a speculative hypothesis only without significant original authentic elements.

Also most excellent for punekar watching, not just goralog. Brugers with right hand only, and desperation is clear. Eyes go pop.

Chicken sandwhiches knock standard SF shop chicken salad on a roll to-go out of the water. Good enough to eat here, go up on balcony. The place is by MG Road.


Cooverbhen was always fond of this place. Though the seatings were too fragmentary for her generously ample forump. I can still hear the heart-stopping creaking and see the shock-widened eyes of other patrons and matrons as she eased herself into the agonized sacrificial seatable. No koorchee ever suffered as much, and witnessing was an adventure. Extra spice was thusly added to the casual bite. Uncle Bunnyjee has not since then, been there.

Biriani at Dorabjee's

If you are an aficionado of food and happen to be in Poona, then to Dorabjee and Sons you really must go. It is on Dastur Meher Road, number 845, in Sharbatwala chowk, Camp. Simple décor, what means basically none. Tile walls, windows, simple tables and seating round about thirty people more or less.
If mutton is what you want, you are now in heaven. Generous portioning, fast service.


Owned and operated by Dariyush Dorabjee, great grandson of founder Sorabjee Dorabjee.


Birianis are famous here, but on Sunday also you can order excellent Dhansak – whether chicken or lamb, either you are wanting. Salli Margi also recommended as well as Salli Boti, lagan nu custard truly exceptional. The gravies for salli margi, salli boti, good and properly spiced. The salli crisp.


But if only Mutton Biriani ordered, you will not go wrong also. This century old restaurant is a classic, birianis prepared over charcoal, at reasonable pricings.


Eat here soon, among last of its kind, the dreadful march of Udipi dosadookans taking over.
It is near Ambedkar Doctor road and J.J. Garden.
Dorabjee’s is possibly good main reason to visit Poona, unless you have uncles and aunties.

He has friends? Mirabelle Dictoo!

Fellow blogger, resident of SF, and notorious panty-stealing depraved individual ATBOTH sends an e-mail as follows:

Hey Grant,


A friend is heading back to India for a visit. First Bombay, then Poona. Know anything about either of those places?
I’m guessing you do, seeing as you mentioned Irani Teashops in some previous posts.
Any recommendations? For food, that is – I doubt that she is seriously interested in your thoughts on feminine underwear.

Thanks.


Well, let us see. It is utterly unfortunate that I have no fond memories of feminine underwear in Poona, even though I am convinced that anybody going there would indeed most certainly be entranced and obsessed with the very subject - especially if self wearing. But men also. Why not? It is, second to nuking the bollocky pakistanies, a subject of nearness to the hearts of all sensible persons. Yes.

What to remember?

Statue of Chatrapatty Shivajee? It is boring. Very British in style, my good heavens how heroic looking the old bean. Statue of Ambedkar? Not otherwise much defference. Gardens? Fort? Location?

Oh, the gibbering Dutchman requested food. Well then.

Parsee eats: Marz-O-Rin and Dorabjee's. Also various Irani Bakeries (did someone just say brunmaska chai?). Kayani Bakery. And the dreary vegetarian muck so much prefered by Gujus and Dravidians which is availably inevitable at Udipi joints, the attraction of which I am utterly incomprehending.
I shall post about Marz-O-Rin and Dorabjee's.
Do not expect golden prose, I am not Behramji by any standards except my own.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Evil child, I shalll take your panties on a salver!

It is with considerable dismay and displeasure that I notice and observe that the evil and depraved miss Snooky Wong again lampoosn and snarks me!

In this horrid post:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/parsee-plus-lawyer-and-panties-equals.html
Parsee plus Lawyer and Panties equals chowder head


Have you no decency, petite bitchette, have you at last no decency? I ask with trembling brow.
You are a mincks. Completely.


Do NOT blame the rabbit!
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html


That you got miserable and sick and stomach-churningly awful from eating all the Easter chocolates, well then whose fault is that except your own? Did I force you? Did I offer you a bucket full of dark temptation? Did I hold down your softly writhing form while proffering bonbons to those parted cherry lips? Well?


And you must answer NO. It is yourself at fault alone. Because you dared not give me your contact information, most unrightly fearing that an upstanding fine LAWYER such as myself would risk all by attempting to seduce a delicate teenage miss.
Heavens to betsy! I am offended.

I have already told you a thousand times, a veritable lakh of times indeed, in as many copious details, that I am not interested in you. Far otherwise in the slightest, the only intellectual curiosities I have concerning yourself is for your cotton nether bits. A subject of deep thought. The delightsome girlish rumpous within, although undoubtedly as fine a piece of work as any (and do please describe!), is of utterly no fascination whatsoever. I would not want it. Even if you offered it to me on a silver platter with bells and tassels attached. And I demand that you test that presumption, so that I may prove my innocence by glancing sneeringly thereat, without further ado about it. I shall but glare in its direction!

I have the bells and tassels, little miss, where are you? Pale blue, please, with the merest of lace edgings. It is an intellectual quest, and curiosities must be satisfied.

Bikini briefs, French cut, or sporty type, it is me all good.

Can I offer you some fine imported chocolate? A gift-wrapped three pound box?

Pork pickle - VINDALOO

A simple recipe. I think. It is comfort food.


VINDALOO

Two pounds pork leg or shoulder, large cubbes.
Half a cup of onions chopped.
Quarter cup of cilantro (kotumir).
Teaspoon of oil from a sharp achar less masala.

Marinade:
Half a cup vinegar, two teaspoon sugar, two teaspoon ground pepper, plus one or two green cardamom, cloves, bay leaves, green chilies.

Masala:
Two tablespoons chili paste.
Two teaspoons each: cinnamon powder, ground coriander.
Half teaspoon ground cumin.
Plenty of ginger and garlic.
Quarter cup vinegar.
Quarter cup strong tamarind water.

Whirr all ingredients of masala smooth. Marinate meat for several hours in marinade.
Brown onions, add the masala, cook till the oil separates. Add meat and marinade and cook fiercely briefly. Stir in the achar oil. Add two or three cups water and simmer for an hour or more. Add the cilantro, remove from heat.
Serve with pao and plain white rice.

Monday, April 13, 2009

She ate too much chocolate

Hah! The mincks ate too much chocolate! She should've stuck with nice ghee-drenched sweeties, and avoided the surplussity of evil bribes of the dastardly rabbit!

See here:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/
Specificat:
http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/04/and-now-i-wanna-kill-that-rabbit.html
Yes! I say! Too much chocolate!
Bapreebap, little girl, bapreebap!


Far indeed it is from me to suggest what else better she could have done on an Easter day, that being a holiday which as a fine heathen miss she SHOULD've NOT celebrated, but really, in my humble estimation (and let me say I have excellent judgement AND both good taste), the petite miss Wong should've celebrated the fertility holiday by putting on a bunny costume.

Tight and shiny.

What, pray, more salutary, than fine young things with fluffy parts. Indeed.

I shall scream appreciatively now, thank you.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Parsee wine and dine

The following text was written for an English audience, as who else would even be curious about the subject, or quite so obsessed with knives and forks and the proper methods of meals.


A great improvement is now observable among the Parsees in their manner of eating. Formerly they sat on the ground at meals like the Hindoos, and took their food out of one brazen dish, on which the viands were spread in confusion. Now the table and chair, with all the accompaniments of a European dinner, are put in requisition. When large parties are given, the table is spread exactly in the English mode, instead of as formerly, when hundreds would be grouped upon the floor, each eating his dinner from a plantain leaf!


The Parsees, properly speaking, eat three times a day. In the morning, soon after their ablutions, they sit down to breakfast, which consists of tea, bread and butter, and eggs. Between twelve and one dinner or tiffin is served, at which rice and curry, with mutton, vegetables, and fish, are the principal dishes. The poorer classes are, however, content with simple rice and curry. Between four and five in the afternoon tea is again prepared, and the time for supper is between eight and ten. This is the most substantial meal of the day, and wines are then consumed in large quantities by those who can afford them; but it is a fact creditable to the sobriety of Parsees generally, that they drink no intoxicating liquors during the day.


---Dosabhoy Framjee

Parsees: Their History, Manners, Customs and Religion. First published in 1858.


That statement about the sobriety of Parsees is most telling. The true Irish inebriation as practised in India is a purview of Muslims only - most phenomenal drunkards under the crown. Close second: anyone from Delhi.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Very basic of Parsee cricket

The Parsees were first Indians to play cricket, it being played by parsee gentlemen as early as 1840 despite not having public school education.
First Parsee cricketers in England 1886 - not bally success.
Second visit 1888 considerably better. Of particular note, bowler Mehellasha Pavri, and Nasarbanji Bapasola. Pavri claimed six wickets at Eastbourne. Good show!

Notable Parsee cricket was being played at Bombay Gymkhana, August 26 and 27, in 1892 - Presidency Match.
Drawn.
September 19-21 Parsees versus Bombay Presidency at Pune.
Victory by three wickets.

Must particularly mention Dinshaw Kanga as primus among early cricketers.

In more recent times, there was Farokh Engineer, who played magnificently in sixties and seventies. Hard bat.
Also in those years, Polly Umrigar - probably best Indian batsman of his time

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pakistan is centre of terrorism

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has described Pakistan as the "epicentre of world terrorism".


This per article BBC here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7975986.stm


Well, I am in entirety not surprised that he should say so. It has been a verity for insufferable age that the Pakistani ISI had gone rogue and was geared towards destructive behaviours. One could have even averred that entire society on western side of the border was little more than barbarism.


Prime Minister also said: "The world has a responsibility that Pakistan lives up to the promise that it will not allow its territory to be used to promote acts of terror directed against India"


Hoo hah! He can jollywell forget about world doing bugger all only. Not a thing will they do, kooch bilkul nahi. The world has blinded its eye towards Pakistani depravity for so long that they could not recognize its true depth if it came up and bit them in the posterior portions. Believe you me, it will be up to India to nuke the bastards and be done with it. World will do nothing.